its been a while since ive last vented on my tumblr. someone in my english class last week was talking about buying alcohol from someone at the school and said i wouldnt understand because i’m so “innocent” people judge me alot but never really take the time to know me. i keep to myself at school this year. i’m becoming more of a quite student 75% of the time. yesterday in driving school a kid said “i hate when unpopular people like my status” …..can people actually be so shallow. yeah actually. then that had me thinking. how many friends actually came to my bed side when i came home from the hospital? alot of people said they would and never did. i’m different now. i’m so much more closed off and i keep to myself. sometimes more than i should. no one has to tell me that i’m insecure i know that. i dont like looking at pictures of myself from a far away shot where you can see my whole body. its not that i think i’m fat its the complete opposite, i think i’m too skinny. i think of my body as gross. i with i could say that on saturday nights i went out alot had fun. but i work and hang out with mainly two people. and i do get to see some friends on occasion. it hurt that over spring break i saw alot of my friends had a sleepover then posted pictures. now i dont talk to them and when i dont show up to lunches they dont text me and ask me why i dont come. which really sucks. and makes me want to cry. i feel like i care for a whole lot of people who dont really always care back. i want to be a friend to everyone and i can definitely say i dont get the same in return. i’m not trying to have a pity party and to my followers actually reading this i’m sorry if thats how i’m making it sound. just trying to vent before i go back to the real world
